Maya is a 40-year-old married mother of two children. Her husband works late almost every day. Maya feels suspicious about his behaviour – not just the working late part but also staying a long time on the phone and the computer and not spending time talking to her as he used to.
Naturally, Maya became very suspicious and started watching her husband carefully; listening to his conversations, accessing his email account, and the usual snooping around of a suspicious wife.
Now we all know suspicion is a natural human reaction to a situation that tells us something could be wrong. But we also know that undue or unchecked suspicion can and will destroy any relationship.
Suspicion can eat into the most stable relationship, wreck havoc, and destroy it from within.
Which is why we need to mindful of what it can do.
Suspicion can grow –
Like a poisonous flower, suspicion can grow, creating with it more and more issues. When you are suspicious, you suspect everything and everyone. It grows on you – if you allow it to. The idea is to take constrictive steps if you are suspicious; you can address the issue or do something about it. Some choose just to wait it out and that’s when it grows on you. If unchecked, you can become paranoid and sometimes, suspect for all the wrong reasons.
Suspicion alone would not stop someone pursuing a goal –
You know the saying – if someone wants to do something, he or she will. That’s true. If your partner wants to pursue a relationship with someone else, suspicion alone won’t cut it. You will have to confront and come to terms with it – eventually. Sometimes, suspicion has no basis and is purely pursued on misunderstandings. In an ideal situation, instead of staying suspicious, you must be able to confront and talk to your partner, the reasons for being suspicious.
Suspicious makes you emotionally fragile –
Being suspicious makes you emotionally damageable. What you must understand is that suspicion is neither a consistently favorable mindset nor a positive state of mind. It will eventually destroy you from within. The more suspicious you become, the more agitated or jittery you become. As a result, you will eventually become more emotionally fragile as time goes by. When you look for holes where there are none, you also entering a black hole of emotional damage.
Suspicion destroys healthy relationships –
Suspicion destroys perfectly normal relationships. We have seen again and again that wives or husbands who are suspicious of an innocent partner will finally destroy a marriage that is otherwise healthy and normal. Often enough, suspicion can be ill-founded; if you suspect your partner without adequate ground, keep in mind that you are causing tremendous damage to the relationship. Don’t hold on to suspicious feelings; always seek a way out either by talking about it or asking your partner about it. That way, you will ensure that suspicion is confronted and dealt with, without allowing it to destroy you both.
Suspicion impacts others in the family –
Suspicion has a devastating impact on others in the family such as the children. What you must keep in mind is that suspicion can encourage children to also suspect those close to them. It can cause them to engage in relationships without building trust and loyalty. Children don’t need to be told; they understand situations better than you think they would. They know when there are tension and suspicion between their parents and can respond negatively. So remember that suspicion must be dealt with in order to rebuild trust and set an example for the children.
Remember that suspicion can be cancer and destroy you from within. It is best that you confront your suspicions and seek an end to it.